So Confused

I was text messaging him yesterday like I always do, and I was like Do you like me even though im a big nerd? and he was like yeah...so I said grose! y u do u like me? no response...so a lil later I txt message him and say do u wanna know why i like you? and he said y? so i was like because your sexy, funny, sweet, a good friend, a big goofball like me, y do u like me? he still never responded...so im like is that bad? or am I just being my same old paranoid self? Justin went to eat last night with me and mom at this chinese restaruant and while i was in the bathroom, sexpot sent him a txt message saying hey stud muffin! I was like that was my "sexpot"(what I call justin) not me & he was like hey both of you, but i was like oh hes not with me anymore, and i was like what r u doin and he txtd back saying going to a party so i was like oh have fun and then he said i will..anyways I had my phone on all night and he sent me a txt about 2 a.m. saying I hate myself...so now im like hmm what happened and i txtd him asking him but he hasnt replied....so confused on the whole situation because im like I sorta think maybe we should just really be friends and not kiss and hold hands because I think its getting too much of me really caring about him and i'm gonna get hurt...but then im like hmm idk, i really have fun with him and stuff, and justins supposed to find out how much he likes me and stuff...I just dont know anymore, I get so confused and sometimes "paranoid" and ericas like calm down, its ok your just being paranoid....I dont know anymore what to do, I like him a lot and I put myself "out there" a lot with him, as in showing him how much I like him and I hope he doesnt be like omg, this girl likes me a lot, and get all scared. IDK! Im just babbling, sorry! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! ♥ Alison